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The Back of the Bus
A Tribute to Southern Comfort Conference 2002
By Renee Reyes
For "passing" first grade, they made him return
How’s that for success and some luck?
Thus, early to bed – a peck on his head
  He waited outside for the truck.
 
Climbing on board, grabbing a seat
Eyes chasing each minor fuss,
Spying in verso – a dark skinned young lady
–        Alone, in the back of the bus.
 
A child asked his mother – what person is this - the same, yet so different from me?
Those eyes shined like fire, and shared for her sire - exactly as I will tell thee:
 
“The back of the bus – is really the front
A place where the angels do tend,
The gateway to heaven - it opens forever 
–        When the girl in the back is your friend."

 A football team captain, class president was he
 Not bad - for a boy from the back,
 No gender to hinder – his race made him tender
 This future looked sharp as a tack.
 
 Fast-forward a score - add a few years
 Now comes dishonor and shock,
 For under all that - a transsexual woman
 –        Complete with her closets and frock.
 
What might Lincoln do – if he saw his son now
Would he offer a pillow as rack?
Never mind those who died - to crush these deep scars
This world – just said, “please use the back”.
 
He’d been there before, he knew this terrain
But somehow it felt extra low,
You know the difference – he understood too…
–        He’d never been forced there to go.
 
 He grasped for support – none he could find
 A cancer had taken his tree,
 Cold hearted in anger, he cried to the heavens
 “No angels avail there for me?”

A head bowed in sorrow – a heart filled with shame
Gravity tugging at knees,
From deep in his soul, he tasted that spirit
–        And suddenly there was a “she”.

 He cried as she held him, dabbing mascara
 Clearing those eyes filled with foam,
 She smiled at her baby – and said only these words
 –        "I knew you could find your way home".
  
This poem, it was started – one year ago
The words somehow lost in the midst,
It took SCC – and one thousand good sisters
For me to discover its gist.
 
It’s really quite simple, His son made it clear 
A camel and eye to be free,
Today he might mention, the back of the bus
– As one way to walk with Thee.
  My heart felt thanks goes to all those hard workers that made everyone's SCC extra special!  
This poem may be reprinted / published or used by anyone as they see fit. ((hugs))

 
last second "whatever" - 09-18-02
Quick update  - been busy.
SCC (Southern Comfort Conference) starts this week. I stopped by the conference briefly today - in order to drop off my dear Sarah West. She arrived Sunday and we visited all Monday afternoon. However, today she needed transport from her friend's place to the hotel - so we enjoyed another lunch together. I always like my visits with Sarah - she's a wonderful person.
I'm all "packed" for SCC - but just too busy with work projects to think much about it. There's a few new faces I'm looking forward to meeting. I'm most focused on discovering some important details to my transitional plans. Thus, I'm not even taking any outfits for nightclubbing. It's just not on my agenda. 
I already received "varied" comments regarding my article on "parasexuality" published at tg forum this week. I'll discuss this more in detail in a future entry. No time at the moment. 
Here's a "copy" of the article:
Parasexuals – understanding the “step sisters” of transsexuality
By Renee Reyes
Ever find yourself at odds with another transsexual because they exhibit a different method of “living” with transsexuality from your own? Perhaps you sometimes feel frustrated by not "fitting" classical definitions within transsexuality.
You’re not alone – “this” frustrates a lot of members of the TS community.
These annoyances can overflow into heated debates amongst transgenders regarding what’s “right or wrong” – concerning varying manifestations of transsexual behavior and appearance.
This past year, I gained increasing comfort identifying with a new concept that explains a common variation of certain transsexual behavior known as   "parasexuality".
What’s a parasexual?
A parasexual is a person who’s born with an alternative gender identity but continues to endear both masculine and feminine traits. A key word within parasexuality is the “endearment” of both genders.
For example - while I was born a “man” – I now look like a woman. I prefer to “live” as a female in both function and appearance. However, I embrace the fact I’ll always “act and think” like both.
Most people relate to the fundamental “concept” of parasexuality. It’s a natural human experience to continually explore alternative sides within the human psyche. However, for parasexuals – this progression is far more dramatic.
Certain doctors might be quick to diagnosis parasexuals as merely highly functional “level four or five” transsexuals (Benjamin scale). However, these classic definitions only serve as a “starting point” - for what a parasexual really ‘is”.
They fail to account for the results of “evolution” – from the continual crisscrossing of gender. This end result – the parasexual phenomenon – is a unique occurrence born from that long-term physical and emotional marriage of two genders. Succinctly stated: “Nature” – finds a way.
What’s the parasexual phenomenon?
The parasexual phenomenon – is the creation of a hybrid transsexual person – from the evolutionary process of continual emotional and physical mitosis and fusion of gender identity.
While birthed as an individual with extensive transsexual “issues”, a parasexual is actually “born” from the enduring process of living in a blended manner. “Birth” is an ongoing process reared from the parasexual’s constant gender “clashes”. Gender clashes are the evolutionary process whereby a parasexual finds their final identity – and happiness.
The first phase of each new parasexual evolution occurs through gender mitosis. The “exact” agenda for each mitosis is a function of how long the individual has been living between genders and the degree of alternative gender medical and psychological therapy received. This stage  – including sometimes violent “labor pains” – eventually creates a hybrid change of both psyche and physical appearance.
Following each mitosis is a phase of subsequent gender “fusion” – resulting in a slightly different persona than existed before the most recent gender mitosis. Certain traits are lost – others gained. New traits – distinct from either “parent” gender – even occur from this dynamic process.
Living with Parasexuality
Frustration amongst parasexuals remains high. Traditional norms for transsexual medical care don’t account for the phenomenon. Thus, parasexuals are often forced to “lie” to practitioners – in an effort to attain treatment for their parasexual tendencies. Likewise, few therapists are trained in clear-cut vistas for its successful resolution.
Another challenge? Parasexuals often feel isolated from the transsexual community. Since a person that evolves in this manner is no longer “male” or female” – what are they? Certain members of the traditional TS majority choose to contest parasexual tendencies – rendering them outcasts. For people just beginning to comprehend their parasexuality – the desire to “fit in” can result in selecting conventional medical and psychological paths for transition – with disastrous, even deadly – results.
Parasexuals are “different” – amongst an already “different”. Thus, parasexuals could aptly be termed “the stepsisters of transsexualism”.
Parasexual Therapy
While the traditional transsexual dedicates a lifetime to the completion of specific tasks that result in correcting nature’s mistake from birth – parasexuals forever endear facets of their beginning gender. Growth – is achieved through a long-term series of mitosis and fusion.
Treating a person exhibiting parasexual tendencies with traditional transitional methodology is potentially dangerous. Those most adept – will often ‘lie” in an effort to maintain their inner agenda. Others face increased possibilities of suicide from traditional treatment.
Successful counseling of the parasexual is a function of helping the patient embrace their unique identity as “positive”, reducing the internal friction resulting from the sometimes violent nature of gender mitosis, and helping them embrace newly formed traits during subsequent identity fusion.
While parasexual therapy mirrors the traditional TS process in many respects – it includes a few unique challenges, including:

1. Diagnosing an individual as parasexual versus traditional transsexual – and providing confidence for their unique sexuality;
2. Determining “where” the patient is presently situated in the parasexual evolutionary process,
3. Offering specific counseling to help the individual sort through present and future gender mitosis,
4. Aiding the patient in evaluating newly formed traits from subsequent fusion.